:: looking forward to baby ::

Well, today is the day - the 1st of August - that had several people betting on our baby coinciding his arrival with la Fête nationale Suisse (the Swiss National Day). Unless he plans on giving me a 7 or so hour labour, then chances are there's another date in his mind! As every other day recently, there are no signs of an imminent arrival. Although, having never been through this before, I don't know what to expect. It is quite an experience waiting and wondering when things will kick off leading to the arrival of our baby, which will no doubt help my mind to catch up in realising there really is someone in there!

It's quite a surreal experience, as I've said before. This is our third baby, but in so many ways it feels like the first for me. I had an emergency c-section with the girls at 26 weeks, which was surreal enough. Often when I've looked back I know they're my daughters but I don't feel like I actually gave birth to them. Partly maybe because it was such a rapid c-section that was already over as I was asking if they had started (!), and partly because of the blur of the actual day and the circumstances of the girls' extremely premature arrival. I never saw the girls immediately after the c-section, and only have a vague memory of the blur of an incubator as it was rolled up to Neonatal. I'm not one to be opinionated about which method of birth is best or to say that c-section is not a real way to give birth. Clearly we all want the best for our little babies, and if they need to come by c-section, for their sake or ours, then that's the priority. In saying this, until this time around I didn't know what pregnant life was like from 26 weeks onwards, which is quite a significant part of pregnancy! And, it's been so completely different to last time that it's taken me a long time to even feel pregnant. I don't feel any of the baby's weight, though it's definitely there because I got such a shock at the number flashing up at me from the scales at a recent midwife appointment! Now, 4 days out until the due date, our baby is ready to come at any time. And he'll be BIG (in our perspective!), healthy and will fit clothes straight away! 

Another new experience will be to take the baby home with us within days of being born. And then adjusting to being up several times throughout the night for the first weeks. Amélie came 'home' at 3 months old and Elise at 5 and a half months. While Amélie was still only 2.1kg at that time and 'newborn' in her adjusted age, she had had the benefit of a great routine in the neonatal unit for the previous 12 weeks, was only waking once a night, then relatively soon was sleeping right through. When Elise was discharged she was the same and both slept through the night within a couple of weeks of being home, and have done so ever since. Sometimes I find myself wondering how I will know what to do with a newborn! But I'm sure the first few days will put me in good stead and it will all come back.  

I'm hoping and planning for a natural birth this time. I have to go to the hospital and have an IV line in just in case but it's funny to realise that I haven't really considered a c-section as an option in my mind, though it will be there as a back up if necessary (and, more recently I've been thinking that I may choose it as a 42 week option if baby hasn't come). It's not recommended that I have an epidural because I need to be able to feel the scar area from my previous c-section, in case of a rupture, and I will also need constant monitoring of the baby. But I hope not to take anything more than basic pain relief, unless my ideal hopes fly out the window! I've been reading up about natural birth and how much fear and lack of control can result in a much more painful and long labour. I'm looking forward to it with a degree of nervousness combined with a trust that God will be with us and with a goal to be focused, to be present, relaxed, peaceful and filled with a sense of joy and excitement of the imminent arrival of our little boy, rather than a fear of the tremendous effort that will be required. I've been really encouraged to read beautiful stories like this one and this one, that show that it can be a really uplifting and wonderful experience. So these are my hopes for the experience but I will be open to whatever is necessary to bring our baby safely into the world. 

In the meantime we wait for this moment to arrive. The girls have decided to get the hang of potty training and have been doing really well at going on the potty. I have anticipated this moment for so long and can't wait to not have to buy nappies anymore, but at this stage of pregnancy I find myself getting to the point that I say "Ok, let's put your nappies back on...it's ok if you do it in your nappies now" much to the protest of the girls! We'll get there :o) They are also anticipating baby's arrival and tell me that they will be "really, really happy!" We are collecting a growing pile of drawings of the baby and I have no doubt they will be wonderful sisters and helpers. 

I've tidied and cleaned pretty much every part of the house that has occupied a space on my 'to do' list over the last several weeks. The bed is made and ready, the changing table stocked with nappies and tiny bodysuits, and my suitcase is just waiting for the moment that I need to grab last minute bits and pieces before we head to the hospital. And now we wait and anticipate...and I try to make myself make the most of these last-minute moments of rest and quiet! 

The photos in this post have no relation whatsoever to what I'm writing about as you can tell! They're of a beach trip we enjoyed last weekend with Grand-papa and Grand-maman